


A Very Green 12th Perigee

by mysteriousMonarch



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Secret Santa, recreational drug use?, sopor slime consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 20:26:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9255308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mysteriousMonarch/pseuds/mysteriousMonarch
Summary: When Gamzee swings by Sollux's hive to pick him up for Feferi's 12th Perigee's Eve party he is met with a very cranky, migraine ridden yellow blood.  Luckily, Gamzee seems to have a home remedy for a certain type of headache.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the Homestuck Secret Santa 2016 event on tumblr. Special thanks to my friend for helping me come up with the plot to this one!

“This is just fan-fucking-tastic,” Sollux Captor grumbled to himself then winced at the sound of his own voice. He clumsily reached across his cluttered desk for his bottle of pills knocking things over and spilling the remnants of his last energy drink on the Twelfth Perigee’s Eve party invitation he had gotten from Feferi. “Shit!” he cursed and quickly righted the can then abandoned his quest for the pills in favor of finding something to sop up the mess. Another pulse from his pounding head and he gave up on that notion as well. That party was going to be starting within the hour and it wasn’t like he was going to be attending anyways.

The yellow blood stood shakily from his chair, the voices in his head growing more raucous by the moment. There was no way he would make it to his respite block so he settled for the nearby couch to crawl onto and burrow under the blankets laid out to shield himself from any amount of light. He shut his eyes and tried to focus on his breathing. It was hard to hear himself think over the rest of the loud tortured sounding voices that bounced around his think pan. He felt sick, he felt dizzy, he felt- angry at whoever had decided now was a good time to knock loudly on his front door.

He made no effort to move in hopes that whoever it was would give up and go away. As the offending sound continued to reverberate through the room he finally emitted a hiss of annoyance and summoned the will to speak. 

“Go the fuck away,” he said as loudly as he could muster. The knocking suddenly stopped and he could hear the doorknob turning followed by the squeak of hinges indicating the door had been opened. He mentally berated himself for having the bad habit of forgetting to keep it locked. 

“Best friend?” called a familiar gravely voice that liked to drag out the sounds of the last word. “Are you ready to get your mother fuckin’ party on?”

“Go away GZ I’m not going to the stupid party,” Sollux’s muffled voice came from beneath the blankets on the couch. Gamzee stood in the entryway to the hive holding a covered pie tin with the door still wide open behind him. He looked around wildly trying to spot the troll who lived there.

“Holy shit bro, I think the walls are talkin’ to me or something ‘cause I don’t see you nowhere,” the Capricorn spoke quickly. 

“I’m on the couch dumb ass. Just under the blankets. Now get the fuck out of my hive,” Sollux commanded hoping he could return to the semi silence solitude had to offer. 

“No can do, best friend,” Gamzee said then Sollux heard the front door close and knew the battle had been lost. The purple blooded troll approached the couch and set his pie down on the coffee table to free up his hands for feeling around the lumps of blankets on the couch. He located his moirail’s legs and lifted them enough to take a seat on the couch and place the other troll’s legs over his lap. “Why aren’t you all up and wantin’ to go get your celebrate on with all your friends? It’s Twelfth Perigee’s Eve, bro. It’s a night of miracles,” Gamzee said in wonderment. 

“First off,” Sollux said finally coming out from under the blankets, “they’re not all my friends. Second, I hate parties under normal circumstances. And the most important reason of them all, my think pan feels like it’s going to fucking explode,” the Gemini ticked off the reasons. 

“Is it all them voices again?” Gamzee questioned. Sollux nodded then instantly regretted the movement. “I guess it’s the holiday or something but they’re way louder than they usually are,” the low blood lisped. 

“That’s too bad, Solbro,” Gamzee said sympathetically and papped Sollux’s leg through the blankets. “Whenever my think pan starts feelin’ all fuckin’ intense I just eat a delicious fuckin’ pie and it makes me feel all sorts of better,” he said with a lopsided grin.

“Gamzee that’s fucking disgusting. Wait, what do you mean intense?”

“Well sometimes I start hearin’ this voice all up in my pan and he sounds awfully angry. Whenever that happens I just eat a nice pie and slam some wicked elixir and it quiets ‘em right up,” Gamzee explained. 

“What does the voice say?” Sollux asked apprehensively.

“Hell if I remember, Solbro,” Gamzee shrugged and chuckled. “Maybe if you try some pie it will make your voices go away too. I was bringin’ one to the get-together but I don’t mind sharin’ early,” the clown drawled. Sollux eyed the pie on the table with his lips pursed in a frown. The thought of actually consuming sopor slime made his stomach churn, but the screaming in his head made him desperate to do just about anything to silence it. He hesitated a few more moments before finally giving in. 

“Fine GZ. I’ll eat some of your pie if you’re sure it will make my pan stop hurting,” he acquiesced reluctantly.

“That’s what I’m mother fucking talkin’ about!” Gamzee said excitedly. He jumped up jostling Sollux’s legs in the process making the yellow blood hiss in pain. Gamzee grabbed the pie tin off the coffee table and handed it to Sollux watching him expectantly. 

“I’ve got forks in the second drawer in the meal block,” Sollux said to his friend. 

“Forks?” Gamzee asked in confusion. “I usually just eat it with my hands.”

“I am not going to eat this shit with my hands, GZ,” Sollux stated flatly.

“Alright, alright,” Gamzee laughed and went off to fetch a fork. He returned a moment later and handed the utensil to the double horned troll. Sollux had already removed the lid of the pie tin and was staring down at the dessert with a look of disgust. He took the fork and took a deep breath before digging in and bringing the bright green substance up to his mouth. He chewed a little and swallowed. Surprisingly it wasn’t half bad. It wasn’t the best thing he had ever tasted but it wasn’t the most revolting thing either.

“What do you think?” Gamzee asked eagerly. 

“It’s not complete shit I guess,” Sollux said with his mouth full. 

“It’s like a squishy miracle ain’t it, best friend?” Gamzee said.

“Yeah sure, whatever,” Sollux absently agreed as he took his fifth bite. By the time he had eaten the equivalent of nearly two and a half slices the voices in his head were reduced to mere whispers. He put the fork down and handed the pie off to Gamzee who happily finished the rest of it then put the empty tin back on the coffee table. 

Sollux’s arms felt heavy, his pan felt fuzzy, and he had never felt so calm in all his life. It was like nothing was really important enough to get stressed about.

“Holy shit, GZ,” Sollux said slurring a bit. “It actually worked.” 

“I mother fucking told you it would, friend,” Gamzee smiled broadly.

“Holy shit,” Sollux repeated.

“So what do you want to do since we ain’t going to Feferi’s shindig?” Gamzee asked reclaiming his spot on the couch with Sollux’s legs sprawled over his lap.

“I just want to lay here I think,” Sollux said slowly. “Just lay here and experience life.” 

“I am down for that, Solbro,” Gamzee nodded and absently rubbed Sollux’s calves through the layers of blankets. “Happy mother fucking Twelfth Perigee’s Eve,” he said quietly.

“Yeah,” Sollux agreed serenely. “Happy Twelfth Perigee’s Eve.”


End file.
